I absolutely love wearing monochrome outfits, especially all black in the winter and all white in the summer. Today, I’m showing you how wearing one color can look really chic without the outfit just being a blob of color. I think some people think wearing all black means that you’re depressed, guarded or even sad. However, if you know me you know that that is NOT me. I’m possibly the happiest person who has ever worn all black. I choose to go the monochrome route simply because it’s the easiest way to look really put together with very minimal effort. Seriously, it’s harder picking out a t-shirt to wear with leggings.
I’m a big believer in presenting yourself well to the world. Not only does dressing well make me feel good, but I think it is a sign of respect to those you come in contact with. Of course, you can’t control how others see you, even when you dress nicely and wear a smile.
Sometimes you just don’t mesh with others or you have a disagreement, and that’s ok. That is part of life. Even Jesus got into it with church leaders in His time. However, I think the way you carry yourself throughout the entire scenario is more important than being right. I don’t subscribe to the idea that it’s ok to disregard manners altogether when disagreeing with someone. Just because you may never interact with them again doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them respectfully. Let’s set the record straight–treating someone respectfully doesn’t mean you lay down and take whatever they’re dishing out. While you should respect others, you should also respect yourself.
I’ve been in situations where I have had to firmly, yet politely stand up for myself. Because I kept my cool and led with grace instead of passion (it takes practice FYI), I think I did the best I could to not give others a reason to be more angry or upset with me than they already were. Of course, I can’t control their reactions, but I can control how I react. I won’t give them more reasons to put me down. I’m a pretty level person, but when I need to whip out my backbone I don’t mind doing it at all.
When people are hurt or angry, they will look for any reason to put you down to your face or to others. I’ve never cared that much about what others say about me if we left things on rocky terms. Think about any bad break-ups you’ve had, or if you quit your job on bad terms, or if you have ended a friendship … It’s never over after that initial conversation. There’s always gossip and rarely is it very flattering.
In those rough patches where I’m battling the fleshly desire to go on the defensive against gossip, I always go back to the Proverbs 31 woman who laughs without fear of the future. When others are talking about you behind your back, telling lies, speculating and all of that fun stuff, the joy and confidence in Christ makes me relax to the point of being able to chuckle in the face of negativity. My flesh, which wants to set the record straight or boast about what I’ve accomplished, is silenced by the truth that what He thinks of my actions is way more important than what anyone else thinks.
I believe one of the greatest gifts Christ gives us is the freedom from insecurity. Insecurity says I need to prove wrong the gossip you are spreading to make myself look better. Being secure in Christ means that you don’t care what others say because you know what God thinks of you. He sees our hearts when others don’t. He hears our prayers, knows our dreams and sees our thought process. Often times, He opens these doors that we walk through. Sometimes simply walking through these doors leads to responses from others that are less than ideal. If you’re going to walk, walk in grace.
Grace is something that doesn’t have an expiration date–with God and others. People will see the way you are acting in the fact of adversity and I pray that it will bring glory to the Father. It reminds me of Exodus 14:14–the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still! The light from the Lord will shine through you and others will see your heart. He is fighting for you. You need only let Him.
If you know that you’re walking into the possibility of tempers flaring, you should immediately seek counsel in prayer and possibly even a trusted mentor. That way, you will be equipped to stand up for yourself in a respectful and graceful manner because your confidence comes from Christ–a God who will never let gossip change the way He feels about you.
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Holly Hoehner has her bachelor’s degree in public relations from the University of Oklahoma. She considers herself more of a Russell Westbrook than a Kevin Durant and enjoys learning about and participating in the digital age, blogging about anything that comes to her mind and creating witty Instagram captions. Holly was raised a die-hard Sooner fan in Edmond, OK.